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                                                                                             A Pirate Looks at 60

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                                         05.31.2016 I'm goin' where the climate suits my clothes


  Hey Now! A bit of trivia for all of my faithful readers. Which you have to be if you have made it this far. Each day's title is actually a lyric from a song. I started doing this a couple of years ago. Today's title is from "Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad". It's an old traditional, I like the Dead's version. Back to our tale. Up at 4:30 a.m. I pack a few bottles of water and my handy dandy sling backpack.

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This thing is the bomb. It even holds 3 bottles of koozied brew.  Midnight meets Sue, my spiffy Gamin GPS and the 2 girls sync just lovely.  Soon I'm on Rt. 95 south. The Speed Limit is just a suggestion- 75 mph. I set the cruise on 82° and enjoy the ride.

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 Just make sure to slow down to 25 mph in Searchlight. Cereally. And on Laughlin Highway the curves are tricky. It's a beautiful ride.

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               It's also quite a difference in altitude from the high desert down to Laughlin which is 558' above sea level.

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The drive took me around 90 minutes from Orleans. All I plan on doing here is hitting the cage in each casino for a dollar chip. And also a token if they happen to have them. The river is crystal clear here. There's also no trash. Anywhere. I notice grasshoppers everywhere.

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I ask a couple of employees on the way in and they say up until a few years ago it was really bad. This ain't nothin'. Inside the Riverside Casino, it's quiet. Really quiet. Of course it's about 6:35 on a Tuesday. I score a chip from the cage and meet another employee, Greg on the way out. I tell him about my chip run. He suggests going all the way down to Harrah's first and make my way back here. That way it's easier to leave town from this end. Sounds like a plan. Thanks Greg!

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The drive through Laughlin takes about 5 minutes. It's a small town. I see the Evil Empire has the town's largest presence. 

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                                          I score a chip and go outside to look around. 

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                 They have a nice beach here too. On the way out I see the Adult Hotel Tower room elevator. Interesting.

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                                                      Next stop is the Laughlin River Lodge.

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                                                 Which I find out at the cage has no table games.

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The Pioneer Hotel & Gambling Hall gives up a chip AND a token. Really friendly girls in the cage. I ask about player's club sign up perks, as there is a massive pile of T shirts back there. But it isn't happening. As a rule this trip, I'm holding off signing up anywhere. Maybe next time when Sweet Ti is with me. Speaking of Sweet Ti, she's back at work today. I need to get back to mine. Here's Pappy! Roll it Jim!


 Next stop is next door. Golden Nugget. As I'm walking in a bunch of Asian Biker Dudes are loading up their luggage in a van. These are some bad ass amigos. I try to ask one of them where they are headed. I finally say Vegas and he nods his head. Then I notice there's a bunch of rental Honda Gold Wingers in the parking lot. Happy Trails to y'all.

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I like this place. It's got class. The atrium is really done up nicely. I scored a chip. Then as the bikers are saddling up for their journey, Midnight and I drift across the street and up the hill to the Trop. 

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Another fair sized joint. Not sure about the ceiling with the exposed metal rafters. Another chip for my collection. Across the street once more to the Colorado Belle. 

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 Now this place I really like. Classy feel. Brewery. Koi fish out front. River out back. And looky- river carp too!

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   The nice ladies in the cage even hooked me up with 2 different series chips AND a token. Down the street to our next stop, the Edgewater. This is by far the smallest joint in town. Got a chip and directions to the Aquarius. Take the excalator past the Hooters.

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                                                     I take the River Walk over to my last stop.

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 The more I see of this place, the more I like it. But it gets better. There's a guy fly fishing. And catching trout. Like one after another.

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                                                     Roll that fishin' footage Jim!




 As I was shooting that, I was already making plans. I mean the whole reason I go by flysrb is because I love to fly fish. Maybe I can talk Ziggy into fishing around here. Our fly fisher is named Matt. He's using a G Loomis 3 wt. PMD fly. He says there is a massive hatch going on. The rainbows are rising everywhere. There's Apache trout out there too. Water temp. is 52°. He asks if I want to come down and try it. I'd love to, but all I have on is flip flops. I watch him catch and release about 8 trout. Tight lines Matt!

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         Aquarius is your basic casino. I score your basic chip. On my way back to Midnight, Matt is hauling out. I do too.

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 I tried to time this trip just right so I got back in town right around 10 a.m. I am planning on stopping by Terribles Silver Sevens to see Ziggy just after his shift starts. I pulled into the parking lot at 10:10. 

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 Zig told me the story about his sister. He took her to the airport on Sunday. She's spending a week in Hawaii. Ziggy is watching her house and her cat. Should be interesting. I haven't seen any of the usual locals hanging around Ziggy's Bar like they used to. I could always count on Matt the drunk or Lou the drunk being here. See, in January the management in their infinite wisdom  decided to cut the comps in half. Since then, Ziggy says a lot of the locals stopped coming in. He introduces me to long time patron of his, Susan from St. Louis. She is a Keno player and flies around the bar from machine to machine. Meanwhile, I lose my hundy and tell Ziggy that I'll meet him tomorrow morning in the parking lot so that he can take back possession of Wheelie®. Back home, I once again nestle Midnight on the 3rd floor. I stash my sling and chips upstairs, grab my obligatory chilly brew, and am on a mission. To find out which bar Hank Bonefish is working at today. He's back from his vacation in the desert. I don't find him at the Wally Gator. The Crawdad isn't open. At the Mardi Gras I ask Daniel, he tells me he's at the Masquerade Bar. Wherever the hell that is. Maybe it's the new bar that took the place of Buzz n' Brush.

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 Well, the barkeep informs me that the Masquerade Bar is usually called the Poker Bar. That's what I've always called it. Who knew? This place has no name, but has a large dining room attached. It's really nice. Even has a large sitting area. It will be the temporary home for the Prime Rib Loft starting next week. They are going to completely remodel the restaurant. But at least it's still going to be in the same location. I take the shortcut outside over to the Poker Masquerade Bar. Hank Bonefish greets me with a hug. He tells me all about MayFire and all the drumming and dancing and chanting. And all the drunks and druggies were at the Las Vegas Burning Man rather than MayFire.    

 Mark shows up, he just pulled $70 off some slot machine so he is happy. He had yet another late night. He really likes it Downtown. We are both ready to eat our arms off so instead we eat at Big Al's Oyster Bar. Karen takes our order. Lunch specials please. Mark has a Chicken Panninni and I get the Skrimp Scampi. Both were excellanté.

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Charged it to my room as I have another $50 food comp. Back at the Poker Bar- which is what the hell I'm gonna call it, I sit next to an interesting older gentleman named Don. He retired here about 20 years ago. Great stories. It's a good thing he is sitting there, because Mikey, a.k.a. Gollum is sitting a few seats down from him and I really don't want him to see me. Mikey is toasted as usual. Hank Bonefish tells me that all of the bartenders are getting up a petition to have Gollum permanently barred from Orleans. Apparently the other night he was accosting one of the cocktail waitresses and saying lewd and obscene things to her. Typical Mikey. It's about time for Hank Bonefish to get off work. He brought his bike and the cart that goes behind it to work with him. Also a cooler full of fruit. He and several of his friends are riding their bikes over to where the homeless folks stay. They are distributing food and water and other essential items. They each have costumes they wear. Hank Bonefish is a Jester. I lose my hundy and think it's time for some BUFFAALLLLOOOOO!!!!!

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From there I tried some Wonder 4. A lady was playing the machine next to mine. She had what looked to be her brother sitting next to her. All of a sudden she hit a shitload of Buffalos on a bonus spin. I congratulated her and looked over at her screen. I did the math as the machine was still Makin' It Rain with coins. She had won $1,400. I told her it was a hand pay. She freaked. The slot attendant showed up and asked for her drivers license. She is still freaking. Says her license is in her car. He said he would wait. She found it but refused to give it to him. I'm trying to calm her down. Then he asks for her S.S. number. Now she really freaks. He explains she can't get paid without it. She says she will just keep playing and lose the money back. I cashed out and left. Too much drama. To the Wally shortys!

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There I meet today's locals Tony and her husband Joe. They own the Barber Shop here at Orleans. Had it since the casino opened. They used to run the Barber Shop at Caesars. Talk about some great tales. They have been here since 1962. They have cut hair for just about all of the power brokers in Vegas. Joe says "We made it through the Mob years, so it's all easy now".  Tony brings me luck.....Jim?



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Mark and I did some shopping for the girls back home. I called it an early night and went up and did most of my packing. Cheers!!!!!

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                           Totals:  Sweet Ti- 4152 pts.    RB- 4242 pys.   Profit- a couple of hundy!


                                                                             06.01.2016 Bring on the dancin' girls


                                                   A Pirate Looks at 60