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                                                        AC July: Mark's 35th

                                                      Slot & VP Porn, and being Coyote stalked.

07.16.2015  AC or Busted

Hey Now! Where were we y'all- welcome back. Off we go. Mark drove his Tundra north. Shazzam! Here we are. We surface parked the beast on account of it's really Humungous- unlike this next pic that is Zumongous... Mark hit this using my $35 free play-

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Penny machine- everyone calm down. That's a Zuma machine. Mark's last name is Zuzma. Close, but not enough Z's on the screen. As we were leaving, a couple of older ladies ask us how we did, and I notice one of them is giving me the eye and smiling. I hurry Mark along. At the front desk, Maggie is busy, so Clive hooks us up. My host Martha took care of 2 rooms for us for the next 3 nights. Mine is ready, but Mark's isn't so we stash our shit in my room. I call Sweet Ti to tell her we made it to Joisey. Next I call Martha to thank her, and she wants to meet at the Epic Club in a couple of hours. We trip on down and try some $1 5x/10x pay. I push. Over by the pit they have once again fucked around with the video poker. But it's for the good this time. They replaced the uprights that replaced the slants with the slants. Get that? It's back like it used to be. AND, they all have .25/.50/$1 8/5 BP. Noice! Speaking for myself- and I am unanimous about it- if I have to play on machines that have the seats surgically welded exactly 16" from the machine, I'd rather they be slants. Just as we were about to insert coin, Martha called. We boogie woogied over to the club. She shows up and treats is to the joint. It's usually $12 in comps per person for Epic. We find a table and chat for about a half an hour. I brought her a little gift- she takes really good care of us here. She's a great person too. Hooks us up with reservations at 7 p.m. tomorrow. Gallagher's. With a $200 discretionary comp.Finally she gets called away and gives us hugs. Laters! Mark and I chow down. Fortified, we go back about our previous pursuit.

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We had a pretty long session. Mark actually had around 6 4OAKS, he didn't bother to screenshot them. Not me though, no pride here.. I've got some business to take care of upstairs, and Mark decides to take the Jitney to da Borg. It's gift day and I walk over to the player's club and collect mine. It's a bladeless personal fan. Strange. I head upstairs and I fart around in the room for awhile and call my Sweet Ti. Tomorrow is 2x day for me, so I watch the boob tube and call it a night. It's around 9 p.m. Hey Now! Give me a break! I'm almost 60. I needs my sleeps....

07.17.2015       35 and counting.

It's 4 a.m. Friday morning. I bounce out of bed. Typical casino behavior, for me. Just one of the perks about just drinking Kaliber.    

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                                                            Beverage of Champions.

Or at least early risers. I run the shower and my phone informs me I have a text. It's from Mark. He just got back from the Borgata. I tell him to come on over to my room before he crashes. His room is just down the hall, so I figure that gives me about 5 minutes. Perfect. I spring into action. Off with the shower, I grab his presents from my duffle along with his card. He shows up, and I wish him a happy welcome to the 2nd half of his life, and gift him.

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 I got him a new fly fishing outfit. He asks me how I smuggled it all the way from VA without him noticing. Santa keeps his secrets...  Mark had a killer marathon blackjack session overnight. Great table, fun dealers. He walked with $300 profit. Nice way to start his birthday. I resume my room activities, and at 5 a.m. I give S.T. a wakey wakey call. While I consume my cereal, I check my swag.

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 Stretch is curious. Just what is a bladeless personal fan? he asks. You got me I say. As soon as I lay my hands on 4 AA batteries, we will both find out. The gaming day officially starts at 6 a.m. at Resorts, and it's about 5:30. Time for a walkabout the boardwalk.    

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Beautiful morning to be alive in Little Key West. Too bad we are gonna miss Abba. I head for a kiosk to activate my point multiplier. I earned a grand total of 6 points and $30 in comps yesterday. My goal for the trip is 50 points. That will keep me at Epic level till June 2016. The points reset every 6 months. My "dates" are June and December 10th. So on the 11th of each of those months, your points disappear. Time for a bit of slant fun. I insert hundy.

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                                    That was Triple Boner. Nice way to start my day... Onward!



Buffalo called me over after a bathroom break. Just gotta know when to get up and leave. Either it's when you are out of credits, or after a bonus round like that one. Back in Slantville, I see I have company. 2 gentlemen are sitting next to my machine. Billy and Al. We are soon fast friends. Billy's granddaughter is in a gymnastics competition next door at the Trump Hair Taj Mahal. He turns out to be yet another '28 model. Last trip, I met another '28. My Daddy was born in '28 too. I gave them the standard RB's Patented VP 101 lesson.

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                We had a blast. They left to go next door, and I moseyed on over for a little sex. City style.> 

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 That worked. Man- this morning just keeps gettin' better! Maybe I'll try some Super Times Pay. .25 9/6 Double Bonus 3 hands. Engage.

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            Nice start. I'm plugging away and the multiplier comes up. 10x. Noice. I draw four to a flush. Then this happens...

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I cashed that puppy out too. Turning all my green paper to white paper today. I stroll over to Hollyrock Hills and insert a $145 TITO  into a $5 Double Top Dollar machine. They used to have one $1/$2/$5 Double Top Dollar on the floor, but took it out a few months back. I limit myself to 4 spins, but hit nothing. So I'm walking around. They have shifted the machines all around. Then what do I spot? 3 $1 Top Dollar machines! AND, one of them is a Double!. I have truly found Nirvana. And when I say Nirvana, I'm not talking about a Seattle grunge band. Quickly I insert coin. Or TITO.



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                        5x/10x Pay anyone???                                                           Triple Diamond?

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I take a break and walk over to see Jackie at Margaritaville Coffee Shop. I've got a $2 bill for her. She sez her Mother is doing good. I'm gonna try to stop by and see her when we are in Vegas. I was gonna buy a soda from there, but it's $4.59. Much cheaper to raid my room fridge. Back to work, I insert coin at a Colossal Reel game and I notice this symbol. It's called Open Kimono. Kinky y'all..

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You have to enlarge that last pic. Open Kimono spawns up to 20 white doves??? She actually opens her dress and doves fly out. I've got 1 benny left. I decide to go big and proceed to the slants with one game in mind. $1 Triple Boner. Only play it when I'm up. 

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 About this time Mark walks up. He got about 5 hours sleep and he is hungry. He wants pizza from the boardwalk stand at the Trop. Drive Biggun Trundra. At noon on a Friday in July. I turn around and point to Familgia pizza about 50 feet away. Comped too. Nopper, he wants boardwalk pizza from the Trop. We used to go there years ago. Good times. But really. I give in- hell it is his birthday. I do need to make a stop at the room though. I need to cash out all these tickets and stash the cash in the safe. $1300 profit this morning. Also the last time I was here in April I stopped by the Trop player's club and showed them my Resorts Epic card. They pumped me up to a 3rd level card. Gold. It's good for free parking and weekday admission to the Advantage Club. I think I put 40 points on it last trip. I figure we can save the $15 parking fee. We walk out to the surface lot and everywhere you look people are headed for the beach. Madhouse. We truck up Pacific and end up in the Quarter parking garage. There's like 3" on clearance on our way to the first open spot with enough room.

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The joint is lookin' quite spiffy. It ought to considering they spent $50 million renovating it. And worst of all- no more boardwalk pizza. I mean they have a mini food court with a Tony Luke's and a Perry's Pizza, but it's just not the same. Here's what's there now:

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Crabfries???? Really????Get serious folks. We come from the land of Chesapeake Bay blue crabs. Ain't never heard of fucking crabfires. Mark gets a consolulation slice from Dollar's  Penny's but I digress. He even gets hustled for spare change while he is eating. I swear that same dude tried to hustle me in April. Back inside we stop by Firewaters to see Nancy. (2 hot air balloons in a Piper Cub) I got a hug. She hasn't changed hardly at all in 10 years. Next stop is Fralinger's for treats for the girls. Then it's upstairs to Zephyr Gallery. I get Sweet Ti a pair of earrings to add to her Zephyr collection. Mark got a couple of gifts. Back to Biggun my Gold card does the trick getting us out of the Trop self park and my Epic card does the same at Resorts. We stash our treasure, grab some refreshments, and hit the slants.   

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As we are finishing that session, those 2 cougars from yesterday pounce us again. We talk and that same one is steadily inching her way closer and closer. I make up some excuse to leave and we haul ass. The only women who do that to me in Vegas are street walkers.

                                                                     Cue da Dog????



 Next it's over to Mville Casino to try the uprights. There's none available as the locals are once again at work on their multipliers. So it's back over to the slants between the pit and security. 

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Mark went off in search of a table game and I went over to sign up to play real money online games. You get a free t-shirt and $20 free play for joining. As long as you are physically in NJ it's legal. Homey led me over to a mini Ipad to register. Seriously? I kept hitting the wrong buttons on the virtual keypad. I finally got thru everything. They had it set up to play on various devices in the room- which used to be part of the High Roller Pit. I played on a screen that was in bedded in  a coffee table. the screen was about 30"x30". I brought up a 9/6 JoB game. But it took forever to load up. He said he had to re-install the game. So I tried some White Orchid. Then he mentioned that they were matching the first 3 deposits of real money up to $300. So I logged out and walked across the floor to the pit to deposit $25. They sent me to a different window, and finally got the paperwork done. It took 10 minutes. Much easier to just insert coin on the floor. I think I'll play on Lappy the Laptop upstairs later. Martha sent me a text saying that she left us a couple of t shirts at VIP check-in so I walked over and picked them up. So I have 2 new shirts. Mark and I find each other and it's time for dinner. So we head upstairs to Gallagher's and are seated. Mark orders a Gleniffich 15 and I got a bottle of Voss still water. I started with Baked Oysters. He got a Cowboy steak with fries and I got a NY Strip with onion straws and seasonal mushroom medley. They even brought Mark a huge piece of cheesecake with a candle in it for his birthday.

                                                                        Insanely good!

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The final total came to $207. Our killer waiter even called downstairs to have our comp extended. Not a prob. Tipped 'em $50. And we each left with huge doggie bags. We stashed our grub and commenced to gambol.

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After that session we went to Hollyrock Hills and had a major Top Dollar run. I ended the day up around $1k. That will work! HBD MZ.

07.18.2015 Mostly Slot Porn

 I actually slept in till 6:30 a.m. I got up and had my cereal and Sweet Ti called to say the backyard was full of hen turkeys and their poults. I fired up the laptop and tried to load up the online games. It took forever, but I finally got some slot to load, didn't hit shit. Time for some real gamboling.. First stop in Sphinx 3D. I've had my eye on these for a while, but never pulled the trigger. Insert hundy. 



  While all this was going on, a CW came by to take my drink order. Red Bull and Ab'Douls. And she's back. Like 1 minute. Cool. 

                                                                Bisonville next.

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I'm having a blast. Sitting between 2 raucous ladies, we're cheering each other on. I bid them farewell- got some VP playin' to do.....

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     Mark shows up right about this time. He catches quad 3's with a kicker on DDB. Time  I introduce Mark.... Mark? Meet Buffalo.


                                                         Time to introduce RB to Cheers


   While I was filming that this nice security lady walked up to me and asked me if I was filming. I told her I was talking to my wife on the phone. She sez okay, 'cause you know that's not allowed. I never stopped filming. She walked away. I've got an ancient phone too-


That's why these videos are so shitty. But fortunately, I have the key, to escape reality. I bought an Ipod Touch. Vega$ approaches! 

                                                                Next stop- Ellen

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It's getting around the middle of the afternoon by now. Mark really wants to play some blackjack, but the main pit tables are 3 deep. Hopefully they will open up the Mville pit soon. Meanwhile he sits down at a roulette table and I hang around the Mville pit for signs of human activity. I finally spot a pit boss and a couple of dealers. Progress! They tell me it will be about 20 minutes till opening. Cool.

                                                            Ball in Town?



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                                                            Linda Carter Retro


                                                 Never tried Goldfish- let's see...


The dealer is finally shuffling the cards in the pit, so I have him place a marker on first and third base and give Mark a call.

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He shows and sits at first base. I'm at third, playing 2 hands $10 table. Joaquinn is our dealer. We buy in for $200 each. A couple of more players show up and round out our table. We start out good. They have a side bet- Match the Dealer. I do pretty well on it early. Hey Now, I know it's a sucker bet. While I'm up I'm stashing greens in my pockets. After the first shuffle, the next shoe goes cold. But it's a good table, and he hang in there. I'm dealt a pair of 3's to the dealer's 6. I split, draw another 3. Re-split. Draw an 8 to the first hand. Double. Draw a 9.Second hand, draw a 10. Stand. Third hand I draw a 6. Double. Draw a 5. Dealer's turn. She turns over an 8. Draws a 10. Bingo. Table woops it up. Suddenly up a hundy. I give Mark the sign. Time to color up. We both walked with a profit. Sweet. We walk over so I could show Mark this online gamboling debacle. I logged in at that coffee table thingy and fired up the VP game. sure as shit it's still loading up at dial up speed. Pitiful. Hunger strikes and we decide it's Gallagher's again. Gallagher's Burger Bar that is

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We are seated by kinda a Plain Jane chick, and we notice the gathering group of party goers and the balloons. It's somebody's 90th birthday. Mark gets the sunny side up burger, I get a blackjack burger. While we wait the party gets started. The birthday girl shows up, along with about another 30 people. They have a bunch of the staff from Gallagher's across the hall bringing over mounds of food. Ours shows up.


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There is this hostess in charge from across the hall who is like an 11. And they are still bringing more food. Helluva party. I use comps for the bill. So about a week after we got back Mark sends me a picture that showed up on his Facebook feed. That hostess is the one on the left. Ours is the 3rd one from the left. Wish we had been invited to that party though...

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                                                                Top $$$$?????


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                                                            Time for a short VP session.

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I always like to end a trip on a 4OAK, so I cashed out. I'm not planning on doing any play tomorrow, don't like to mess with my ADT. Mark is busy playing blackjack. I went up to the room, and decided to give the online games one last try. I fired up Lappy the Laptop.

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 That win put me over the 20x play or whatever it took for the winnings to actually be mine. So I went down to the cashier and cashed out everything in the account. $56. Can't play it in VA anyway. So I ended up with a $21 profit. And swag. Time to celebrate.

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07.19.2015   The party's (almost) over

Got up around 7 a.m. Beautiful day in AC. I took care of business and packed. Quite efficiently if I do say so myself.

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Mark called, he is packed and checked out already. On the floor playing. So I checkout and grab his keys. I come back in and join Mr. Zuzma at the Zuma machine. He gives me his GF Becky's card to play on.

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 With that, we are done. As we are getting up, The Cougar ladies make on last appearance. Hello/Goodbye. One more chore to do, I stop by Essentials, their version on a Quick Rip and get a comped pair of Reefs.

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 Well another killer trip is in the books. I reached my goal- 51 points, so my Epic status is good till June 2016. My bankroll came thru in great shape, and Mark didn't do too bad either. Happy Birthday you old fart.

                                                    Next up: Labor Day 2015 in Vegas!

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